happy new year

54 trips around the sun and the start of a new one…

this was my earwig this morning:

“tomorrow is a long time”
by bob dylan
as sung by Lowen & Navarro

if today was not an endless highway
if tonight was not a crooked trail
if tomorrow wasn’t such a long time
then lonesome would mean nothing to me at all

yes, and only if my own true love is waiting
if i could hear her heart a-softly pounding
yes and only if she were lying by me
would i lie in my bed once again

i can’t see my reflection in the water
i can’t speak the sounds that show no pain
i can’t hear the echoes of my footsteps
or remember the sound of my own name

yes, and only if my own true love is waiting
if i could hear her heart a-softly pounding
yes and only if she were lying by me
would i lie in my bed once again

there’s a beauty in that silver singin’ river
there’s a beauty in that rainbow in the sky
but none of these and nothing else can touch the beauty
i remember in my true love’s eyes

yes, and only if my own true love is waiting
if i could hear her heart a-softly pounding
yes and only if she were lying by me
would i lie in my bed once again
would i lie in my bed once again

 

 

how i got here

No matter how I got here, there’s a reason for it. I have to give attention to all the paths I’ve taken. I am pulled to the happy, the romantic, the positive. I owe myself all the outlets. One does not exist in me without the other.

The past few weeks I’ve been dealing with a medical issue that has consumed me. As I am pulled to let that out I am pushed to offer some sort of equalizer.

10:28

because there is a vacancy… 32
strong that somehow define
me, here, gone… i fill those voids
with a falsehood that refuses to allow
closure, infinite space full of pain
pulling, attempting to insert somethings
i have yet to comprehend, i struggle
to keep from being torn to shreds

in you

in you
i have found my passion
in you
i have found my light
in you
i have found my freedom
in you
i have found my best friend
in you
i have found my muse
in you
i have found my reason
in you
i have found my other
in you
i have found my love

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breath-taking blue

my ceiling vaults into the sky brushing clouds
throwing its breeze down to pester the trees
my thoughts vacant like the winter branches
i am eager to produce a verse with power
enough to topple these trees and rip the
clouds from the sky to reveal the amazing
breath-taking blue
captured nowhere else
but in your eyes

GAVINBENNETT.SUBSTACK.COM

a kiss

if if were real
and i could hold it in your hand
that would be a blessing
for my reality

when you become actual
a little at a time
i can kiss tiny pieces
until you are whole

as time draws circles
around our embrace
slowly tightening it’s grasp,
i rejoice amidst the pressure
squeezing us into one

when when has space
enough to breathe
i inhale deeply
filling my entire being
with you

now is then
when we first were we
fighting through a wave
for something
we might have known
would set us on a path
to somewhere
we still exist

i stay awake all week
dreaming of you
and when we finally meet
those words
that changed our course
forever
a kiss

Come see me at an amazing writing project:

GAVINBENNETT.SUBSTACK.COM

because

i have an abiding compulsion to live
because nineteen years ago i did not think
i would still be here
because thirteen years ago i did not think i
would still be alive
because in those intervening years
there was an undercurrent of hope
because there was a pull on my being
because my presence here is important
because it is about more than just me
because whether you want to be it or not
it is about you too

GAVINBENNETT.SUBSTACK.COM

key west

the harmonica wails and the humidity feels like a warm mist, it’s a blur of color up and down duval street, i step out on the well traveled sidewalk rubbing up against bikinis and panama jacks, the lobby of the la concha is air conditioned but the roof is so hot, no one gets out there, but i have friends here and i glide right by the rope, the sunset practically sizzles, cooled only by the large quantities of rum drinks provided by don the barkeep

GAVINBENNETT.SUBSTACK.COM

LESSENED

who has the space to carry other people’s choices i have them violently spinning around my head in opposition to my own private gyroscope i perceive them as more important if i let them push their way in and as mine go crashing out i am diminished, even as i am trying to convince myself that i am somehow more because i am allowing myself to  be lessened

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