a kiss

Posted on by Gavin

if if were real
and i could hold it in your hand
that would be a blessing
for my reality

when you become actual
a little at a time
i can kiss tiny pieces
until you are whole

as time draws circles
around our embrace
slowly tightening it’s grasp,
i rejoice amidst the pressure
squeezing us into one

when when has space
enough to breathe
i inhale deeply
filling my entire being
with you

now is then
when we first were we
fighting through a wave
for something
we might have known
would set us on a path
to somewhere
we still exist

i stay awake all week
dreaming of you
and when we finally meet
those words
that changed our course
forever
a kiss

glb /// “a kiss”
originally published 01/20/2018

this night

Posted on by Gavin

i have spent this night,
some hours worth,
touching old words
brought new through
the passage of time,
hoping they will be met
as golden gifts
meant to move the mind
and the heart

i have spent this night,
mourning to the point
of exhaustion,
communing with buried
souls, since removed
from my reach,
longing for a soft touch

i have spent this night,
falling in love with the dark,
sobs turned to laughter,
echoing through my
vacancy

i have spent this night,
practicing smiling into the mirror,
wincing at the horrible countenance
staring back at me

glb /// “this night”
originally published 05/26/2019

between thought and truth

Posted on by Gavin

turning rhymes into prose, old thoughts and dreams
deconstructed and rebuilt, to please the only ear that
can stand to hear them after all this time alone

untangling stanzas and couplets while rearranging
shelves full of notebooks, elbow deep in words about
love and lust and betrayal, epiphanies wink out when
compared with the truth

roping it all in with a lasso made of twine, there is no
way to corral the hopes in this pen, galloping off
with ideas that were not quite concrete, leaving behind
hand prints that set too fast

longing to get feelings into a form that means something
to someone in some part of the world, traveling the thin
line between appreciation and disparagement, flicking the
pages over the horizon, blurring with the lines in the ledger

stars on the water show the way home, darkness slides slowly
across the tablet, leaving creation to touch and feel,
concepts bloom, pushing perceptions through the
barrier between thought and truth

glb /// “between thought and truth”
originally published 08/04/2019

constant something

Posted on by Gavin

constant something
is what i’m chasing
constant sun glaring off the cracked window
constant birds squeaking at each other
constant click of my fingers on these keys
constant hand on my hand, pulling me into life
constant hum of your breath, my favorite song
constant kisses under starlight, under the covers
constant you and me spending every moment together
constant something i can count on
constant something that makes me free
of
constant wish
constant hope
constant longing
constant grief
constant reality of what is
constantly me

glb /// “constant something”
originally published 03/10/2014

wake up

Posted on by Gavin

wake up to the deep midnight
breathing softly exhaling
steams up the window separating
cold and dark from warm and bright
snuggle up and douse the light
turn your face into the pillow
drift off to the place of dreams

wake up to the shimmering
blue with white puffy clouds
dangling lazily, partially glimpsed
with a tossing and turning eye
pillow thrown over head
scratching and grasping for
just a few minutes more

glb /// “wake up”
originally published 01/15/2014

doomed to repeat it

Posted on by Gavin

i reach out to the light and the dark of you
prepared for any combination
you bring me flowers and dirt
screaming and whispering your devotion to me
i lap at the compliments
drawing strength from anything you care to leave
bones and seeds
from your past planting the future
words cry out i will end you so you can start anew
in the corner i lay spent as the light from the dawn creeps in
finding a beaten pulp eager for the switch again
it brings feeling where it has not been for endless time
i sway to your calling hoping you will raise your hand to me
and bring me home with you, where i truly belong

glb /// “doomed to repeat it”
originally published 09/09/2018

if i can

Posted on by Gavin

i hold you angry at arms length
any closer would shatter my will
and any notion i am over you

if i can stand here and grit my teeth
at the very mention of your name
i can summon the will to crush
your memory under my heel

but that’s all in the muted light
of the night sky
wishing it held the brilliance
we did

that’s where the memory lives
close enough
and
far enough

glb /// “if i can”
originally published 01/05/2020

i am not broken

Posted on by Gavin

i am not broken…
but i was
and…
i was for a long time
and…
i grieve for all that time
wasted…
in pursuit of nothing
and
everything i was not prepared for,
everything i was not capable of achieving,
instead of fixing myself
i lied to myself
insisting i was whole…

it took a catastrophic event,
which i still don’t understand,
to bring fundamental change
to bring a healing wave,
where i found new things,
true things,
ways of being…

i am not broken…
but i was
and…
because
i have found a new way of living
i have found a new way of relating to the world
i have refused to go back there

glb /// “i am not broken”
originally published 03/16/2018

talk to me…

Posted on by Gavin

talk to me of soaring birds being
pulled skyward by whispers of string
flapping wings to pull them higher

bring me butterflies bouncing
around in some sacred, secret, dance
that only makes sense to them

clutch my hand in yours and pull it
close to your lips, your warm moist breath
sending shivers and twitches down to the
base of my spine

hold me firm as I stare deep into your eyes
feel the stutter and jump in the pit of my stomach
I have no wings or strings and I cannot
fly as high as you take me

spare me your siren’s song, i will follow you
to the the towering heights of forever
with the silent gesture of
your arms around my neck and an ever-so-soft kiss

glb /// “talk to me…”
originally published 07/30/2015