…something

i look into your face
there is no trace
of recognition
in your eyes

and i don’t know
what gets me worse,
that you don’t know me
or how cliche
that first stanza sounds

getting right down to
the meat of the matter

we are living our lives
full of parting shots
and one-offs
no conversations had,
words left dangling,
left wondering,
as if a complete exchange
would signify,
i don’t know…
something

glb /// “…something”

a wedding song (non-traditional)

like honey dripped from a cherry
to your tongue you bring a
sweetness to the world that I
have never tasted before

you twist and turn with every
drip of lust wrenched from
your lips as you spin like a
dervish in celebration and
anticipation of our nuptials

come here to me and let
me lift the veil, we know
better than the flowing
pearlescent frock you wear,
which we will enforce
as soon as I can get you alone

for now we’ll tow the
traditional line, if I can keep
myself away, on this altar,
vows said, you have kissed
me to attention and I am
prepared to march on
that alabaster keep

glb /// “a wedding song (non-traditional)”

EXCUSES

It’s not about excuses. No doubt, I struggle, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. There are things I can point to, of course. But given all the experience I’ve had, I find myself worried at times. I don’t always recognize what’s going on, especially where Bipolar depression is involved. I’m not trying to define what it is. I’m just hoping to understand what it is in me. I can say that I feel as if I am surviving but I can also say that I wish surviving was better than it is.

turning rhymes into prose

turning rhymes into prose,
old thoughts and dreams
deconstructed and rebuilt,
to please the only ear that
can stand to hear them
after all this time alone
 
untangling stanzas and
couplets while rearranging
shelves full of notebooks,
elbow deep in words about
love and lust and betrayal,
epiphanies wink out when
compared with the truth
 
roping it all in with a lasso
made of twine, there is no
way to corral the hopes
in this pen, galloping off
with ideas that were not
quite concrete, leaving behind
hand prints that set too fast
 
longing to get feelings into
a form that means something
to someone in some part
of the world, traveling the thin
line between appreciation and
disparagement, flicking the pages
over the horizon, blurring with
the lines in the ledger
 
stars on the water show
the way home, darkness
slides slowly across the tablet,
leaving creation to touch and feel,
concepts bloom, pushing
perceptions through the
barrier between thought and
truth
 
glb /// “turning rhymes into prose”

alluding with alliteration

my spine is like jelly
my head on a spring
my feet stuck in concrete
something has clipped
my wings of creativity
doing their best to keep
me grounded, i should
be soaring and swooping
and diving and playing
with words, dancing
with phrases, alluding
with alliteration, but
the bucket is empty,
there’s nothing left
in the till, i don’t
seem to come up with
anything even by
sheer determination
and will, so i’ll hang
up my pencil, set
aside my quill and try
to rhyme for someone
else…
 
glb /// “alluding with alliteration”

i can’t paint

i can’t paint,
but the colors
that come to mind
when i think of you…

are bold and bright,
don’t run from anything,
don’t blanch for anyone,
soar on your standard,
representing your soul,
full of love,
full of life,
full of dreams fulfilled

by sparks of laughter and joy
on an ocean of brilliant stars

bringing happiness to my heart
every time i unveil you
on a canvas
painted with my words

glb /// “i can’t paint”
originally published 11/03/2018

it happened

it has to have happened
one time
someone believed
the story i was telling
someone picked me up
looked into my eyes
and saw that
i was still there

it has to have happened
one time
someone saw past
the gibberish
i was speaking
to an empty chair
and put their arms
around me
so i wouldn’t have to
go through it alone

it has to have happened
one time
i sat and stared
out the window
trying to convince myself
that i had
a place in this world
and someone
encouraged me
to take inventory
of my life
to look at everything
that is inside
to be proud
of who i am

it has to have happened
one time
you took a chance
on loving me
wholly
giving me
a place to rest
something to count on
the ability
to be free

it has happened
over and over again
i fall asleep
and wake up
knowing that
you are with me
holding my hand
a kiss on my cheek
smiling with me
feeling more love
than ever before

glb /// “it happened”
originally published 09/13/2017