i can’t paint

i can’t paint,
but the colors
that come to mind
when i think of you…

are bold and bright,
don’t run from anything,
don’t blanch for anyone,
soar on your standard,
representing your soul,
full of love,
full of life,
full of dreams fulfilled

by sparks of laughter and joy
on an ocean of brilliant stars

bringing happiness to my heart
every time i unveil you
on a canvas
painted with my words

glb /// “i can’t paint”
originally published 11/03/2018

whisper

here we are
laying together
ear to ear
eye to eye
nose to nose
mouth to mouth
whispering things
to each other
because anything more
is unnecessary
kiss me here
touch me there
go faster
slow down
i love you
nothing louder
than a contented sigh

glb /// “whisper”
originally published 03/20/2016

untitled 1111

there can never come a time
when you are too much for me
there will never be a day
that will mean more to me
than the time i have spent with you
there has never been a place
as soft, and gentle and precious
as the one i have for you
in my heart
there is nothing as sweet and delicious
as the taste of you on my lips
there is no other place i’d rather be
than caught locked in your stare
with the look of forever
in your eyes
there is nothing more perfect
than holding you in my arms
while the sun dips quietly into the sea

glb /// “untitled 1111”
originally published 08/08/2016

lightning

lightning peels back
my already shattered sky
i am still jolted
not ready for the crack
although i see it break
i tried to embrace it
become one with it
if it would not become
one with me

out in the middle
of a field turning
around and around
making myself the
tallest thing for miles
making myself as
much of a target
as i can hope to be

i anticipate the blast
i am braced for the shock
of heartache, of melancholy,
of grief at your inability to
love me enough that i
must go diving into
driving thunderheads
just to find what i imagine
what my own life is
supposed to feel like

glb /// “lightning”
originally published 12/13/2015

this night

i have spent this night,
some hours worth,
touching old words
brought new through
the passage of time,
hoping they will be met
as golden gifts
meant to move the mind
and the heart

i have spent this night,
mourning to the point
of exhaustion,
communing with buried
souls, since removed
from my reach,
longing for a soft touch

i have spent this night,
falling in love with the dark,
sobs turned to laughter,
echoing through my
vacancy

i have spent this night,
practicing smiling into the mirror,
wincing at the horrible countenance
staring back at me

glb /// “this night”
originally published 05/26/2019

doomed to repeat it

i reach out to the light and the dark of you
prepared for any combination
you bring me flowers and dirt
screaming and whispering your devotion to me
i lap at the compliments
drawing strength from anything you care to leave
bones and seeds
from your past planting the future
words cry out i will end you so you can start anew
in the corner i lay spent as the light from the dawn creeps in
finding a beaten pulp eager for the switch again
it brings feeling where it has not been for endless time
i sway to your calling hoping you will raise your hand to me
and bring me home with you, where i truly belong

glb /// “doomed to repeat it”
originally published 09/09/2018

talk to me…

talk to me of soaring birds being
pulled skyward by whispers of string
flapping wings to pull them higher

bring me butterflies bouncing
around in some sacred, secret, dance
that only makes sense to them

clutch my hand in yours and pull it
close to your lips, your warm moist breath
sending shivers and twitches down to the
base of my spine

hold me firm as I stare deep into your eyes
feel the stutter and jump in the pit of my stomach
I have no wings or strings and I cannot
fly as high as you take me

spare me your siren’s song, i will follow you
to the the towering heights of forever
with the silent gesture of
your arms around my neck and an ever-so-soft kiss

glb /// “talk to me…”
originally published 07/30/2015

what i know now

what I know now
I have to love myself first
I can’t heal without it
I can’t expect it to come
only from someone else
I have to find it within myself
I have to be open and honest about
what I’m going through
I have the right to expect that
from others
It’s ok to be scared
it’s ok to be vulnerable
It’s ok to ask for help
It’s ok to stand up for myself
It’s ok to walk away if I need to
all of these are necessary
plus 101 million others

glb /// “what i know now”
originally published 03/28/2019

a glint of red

a glint of red moving across my mind,
want to chase it to see what it means,
but i don’t, my curiosity is strapped to
this rock of guilt and restraint, do you
remember what happened last time?

i am stuck in the muck that i exude,
it keeps me here, where i am safe
from things that only i can see or hear

you in your red coat stop by from time
to time, you tell me how busy your life is
without asking about mine, with the assumption
that it is an excuse for why i don’t see you
that often and that my silence is an
endorsement of how small my life is

glb /// “a glint of red”
going-sideways.com original

in the dark

when i fumble around
in the dark
my hands seek you,
my lover
my other
my constant,
no moment can go by
without some form of thanks
that you exist in my world
warm it
brighten it
make it whole,
a quiet spills over me
you are there,
pulling you toward me
the greatest part of longing
is the anticipation,
my love for you blossoms
in these moments,
my hand finds yours
inseparable in the moments
in the dark

glb /// “in the dark”
originally published 03/14/2017