a kiss on the cheek

hold me now and please
don’t let me go,
i’ve come a long way
this day and all
i want is sleep

but, your eyes are bright
and inquisitive
so i will stay up,
we can talk for a while

put you hand in mine
feel it tremble with our
fingers entwined

i am not as i once was
i am not as expected,
i am as i fully am,
there’s nothing to
hide from you,
i couldn’t do it
if i tried

i have had days
confusing days
that i barely emerged from

i mean to tell you
about them,
explain them to you
from my perspective

my hope is that
in telling you my tale,
you will know something
more about me

if i am successful
you will know where
i come from,
the fires that made me,
and the demons that
still haunt me

give me a kiss
on my cheek
when you are ready
to begin

— glb

it weighs on me

it weighs on me,
one million little pounds,
rake me across the coals
for seven empty minutes…

birthed again,
crashing into the world
literally less
than i was

even after all i’ve said,
and done,
i cry into the night
GIVE ME BACK!!!!

fill me in
PLEASE!!!!
make me whole,
let me stop
the constant search

put your hand on me,
trace my scars,
fill me up
with endless possibilities

shadowed potential
only reveals itself
when stumbling backwards
into my awakening

— glb

my unreality

there’s a buzzing in my brain
there’s a ringing in my ears
there’s a pounding in my chest
someone said your name
i smelled your perfume
i spun around in circles
you weren’t in reach
but you felt so so close

my unreality
rapped me on the knuckles
slapped me across the face
but not hard enough
to bring tears

no,
that single drop on my cheek
came from your absence

–glb

and i wait

i put myself into my own hands
i try to lift me up
above the miasma
and can only gather enough
strength to drag myself
through the stench

all the words say
“the only way out is through”
so i bear the rubbish and rust,
ask when it’s going to be my turn,
and count on the constant answer,
“you’re next, just hold on”
and i wait, i wait, wiat, wait
next never comes

i persevere
in love with my odds…

every single person that never tried,
didn’t succeed,
that one isn’t me
“am i next? is it going to be me?”
“yes son, you’re next, just hold on”

and i wait, i wait, wait, w-a-i-t

–glb

38 seconds

when I am sitting cross-legged on the floor
rocking so hard to keep the light and the
sound out, rocking so hard to keep the beat
of my heart at bay, rocking so hard that
I can’t get the bullet into the chamber,
my tears have wet my fingers, my sobs
wrack and shake my body over the rocking,
when I am 38 seconds from ending it all
I think…
there are people out there like me,
people that are suffering just like I am,
people that are hurting just like me,
people that are so close to giving up,
that I hope I can assist,
if I can help just one other person
get through, I have done something
good and right and humane

— GB

I bleed feelings

I bleed my feelings up and
down this street, they don’t
splash or stain or run down
the gutter, they are all internal,
weighing heavy on my heart,
where your hands and tears
make it nearly impossible
to take a breath, you have to
come back, it’s your job to
rein me in, to clean me up
and turn me back into the
one you love

— GB