Survive?

When the copper stops buzzing in your brain
And the sweat pours down your neck
I will be there to hold you when the spasm begins

The application of pain is the antidote
70 times now…
It’s hard to tell where the victory lies
The strange attractors have done their damage

Tolerance raises the bar for the next
A number drawn at a random tells you how long,
How deep you’ll have to reach to survive

Down deep enveloped in gloom
Cast by the only bulb in the cavernous hall
You prepare to put on your show,
Daring to expose all in attendance
As patrons of the darkest art of all

You mime kindness
Whisper intimacy
Talk of hope
Shriek out love

The cacophony deafens
Voices drawn tight
Refusing to admit
That the one thing they have in common…
(Humanity)
Is the hardest thing
To achieve

— GLB

I Weep

I weep
when I get the chance
when it is proper
when it is true

I weep
when I need you
when you aren’t here
when I picture your smile

I weep
at the drop of a hat
when it doesn’t seem warranted
when I am happy

I weep
when I experience vicariously
when I am wrong
when I am right

I weep
because I am human
because I feel
for the sake of weeping

I weep
because I know the ending
because I am in pain
because there is no antidote

I weep
at personal triumphs
at goodbyes
at the first sign of kismet

I weep
when I am trapped
when I don’t understand
when I see the forest

I weep
when I’m on the right track
when I am frustrated
when I can’t keep my eye on the ball

I weep
when I examine my life
when I feel broken
when I can’t see the next step

I weep
on St. Patrick’s Day
when I have let you down
because I miss you

I weep
Because I am at home
Because you are too
Because 3172 miles

I weep
When I open a box of your things
When they still smell like you
Because I can’t put you away

I weep
Because that song is stuck in my head
Because I don’t want it to stop
Because it stopped

— GLB

A Kiss

If if were real
And I could hold it in your hand
That would be a blessing
For my reality

When you become actual
A little at a time
I can kiss tiny pieces
Until you are whole

As time draws circles
Around our embrace
Slowly tightening it’s grasp,
I rejoice amidst the pressure
Squeezing us into one

When when has space
Enough to breathe
I inhale deeply
Filling my entire being
With you

Now is then
When we first were we
Fighting through a wave
For something
We might have known
Would set us on a path
To somewhere
We still exist

I stay awake all week
Dreaming of you
And when we finally meet
Those words
That changed our course
Forever
A kiss

— GLB

Moment

There’s a moment
There’s a hue
There’s a shadow
There’s a bright
Too bright
To observe, directly

In that moment
Fleeting feelings
Wraiths of blue
Scatterings of yellow
Drops of laughter
Rivers of lust

Still,
That moment remains,
Elusive,
I shudder when I try
Recognition slips away
Arms empty

I kneel in my own
Confusion,
Asking only for a sign,
Finding vacancy
After vacancy
Moment fleeting

For the longest
Moment,
My heart hurts
Like my head,
Wrapped in velvet
Sandpaper,
Ripping and comforting
All at once

Hoping
A moment will bring
Truth
Like I imagine
Having been lost
To so many
Silent blows

For a moment
The parking lot
For a car
It’s all so much
Background noise
Spinning me
To the ground
Inturing me

Ending that moment

Unprepared for the next

— GLB

When Is Later?

We assumed that
What we needed
Was what we had,
We built ourselves
From our familiarities

It was so easy
We knew each other
We knew what were doing

So many years
Gone by,

Without a scratch?

But we knew there were other,
Things

Things brushed upon
Things talked around
Things set aside,
Until later,

When is later?

— GLB

my friend

you visited me in San Diego
you brought your family?
it is something I should remember
we have been friends for a long time
and I barely remember any of it
I remember the oldest of memories
Pritchard Hall, Pheasant Run Drive, Red ’66 Mustang
I don’t know if it is the medication, the ECT
all these things that are supposed to make
me better, improve my life,
sometimes I question

— GB