Nothing seen, nothing heard

I listen to your silence
Brought across miles
By my disappearance
From your life

An absence forced on me,
The unwilling,
Seemingly silent participant,
Speaking words
Burned on pages
Yearning to be heard

Falling on deaf eyes,
Supposedly blind
To my forays,
Nothing seen
Nothing heard

I listen to your silence

— glb

from an old dark place

pounded into the carpet
sobbing and cringing
i can’t breathe
this is where
i come apart
i am disintegrating
i can’t utter a sound
this is where
i lose everything
i am going away
for a very long time

— glb

it weighs on me

it weighs on me,
one million little pounds,
rake me across the coals
for seven empty minutes…

birthed again,
crashing into the world
literally less
than i was

even after all i’ve said,
and done,
i cry into the night
GIVE ME BACK!!!!

fill me in
PLEASE!!!!
make me whole,
let me stop
the constant search

put your hand on me,
trace my scars,
fill me up
with endless possibilities

shadowed potential
only reveals itself
when stumbling backwards
into my awakening

— glb

An Old Pain

It is after one and
The lights are low
Even the crickets and
The frogs have
Gone to sleep

There’s a book on
The pillow
Begging me to
Crack its spine
So I can get lost
In it
For a while

But I can’t turn away
These thoughts of you
Haunt me in little ways
Almost every night

I let you in
To preserve you
In my heart and my head

It would be worse if I
Ever lost any part of you
So I endure these
Repeated points of pain

I wrap my arms around me
Pretending you are in
My embrace
A quiet tear slips down
My cheek
Remembering you are not
Actually here

It is just an old pain I
Choose to inflict
Upon myself

— GB

won’t you please come back

my head hurts,
likely from the
fact that you’re
not in it anymore,
the vacuum pulls
at my skull
and gray-matter
creating a searing,
cutting, diabolical,
ache caused by
your absence
from my life

my heart aches
from your absence,
a great chasm has
been created
by your leaving,
my words hold
no strength
since you have
gone,
they wiggle their
way out the side
of my mouth and
bounce off the
edge of the
paper

won’t you please come back

— GB

pins and needles

pins and needles pierce
my eyes and bring a
pain that is nothing
compared to what I feel
when I see you standing
in the rain alone when I
could have been there
wrapping my arms around
you and keeping you warm

etch my disappointment
on my face when i reach
for you and fall short
mud and briers fill my
fists, crawling after you
I break myself on every
boulder, drown in every
stream, my life is left
anticipating the moment
I catch you and hold
you and know that
you are mine

— GB