it weighs on me

it weighs on me,
one million little pounds,
rake me across the coals
for seven empty minutes…

birthed again,
crashing into the world
literally less
than i was

even after all i’ve said,
and done,
i cry into the night
GIVE ME BACK!!!!

fill me in
PLEASE!!!!
make me whole,
let me stop
the constant search

put your hand on me,
trace my scars,
fill me up
with endless possibilities

shadowed potential
only reveals itself
when stumbling backwards
into my awakening

— glb

my unreality

there’s a buzzing in my brain
there’s a ringing in my ears
there’s a pounding in my chest
someone said your name
i smelled your perfume
i spun around in circles
you weren’t in reach
but you felt so so close

my unreality
rapped me on the knuckles
slapped me across the face
but not hard enough
to bring tears

no,
that single drop on my cheek
came from your absence

–glb

born from love

born from love
remaining
in friendship

days across states
the falls in the rain
discovering a joyful place
wrapped in nature’s splendor
a harbor called Friday

explored in love
recalled as pieces of my soul
that only you can touch

those same pieces I treasure
and visit frequently
holding our love and friendship
close to hy heart

–glb

The Times You’ve Come

While I sit here trying to get this damned virtual machine up and running, I put my media player on shuffle and this song came up 3 times in 2 hours (so much for shuffle). I do have to say that I really didn’t mind. It’s a Jackson Browne song that still holds some very good memories even after a long, long time. It reminds me of a certain someone that occupies a very special place in my heart. Here’s to you… you know who you are.

“The Times You’ve Come”
by Jackson Browne

In the time we’ve known
That we each are a part of one another
We’ve lost as much as we have won
And as our lives have grown
We have found that it only brings us pain
That hangs on to the things that we have done
Still I’ve loved the times you’ve come

When you went away
Taking all that I’d built my false road on
I dropped my life and couldn’t find the pieces
Now you come and go
And it’s hard but I feel my strength returning
We’ll see how far this new road reaches
We’ll see a little more each time we come

Now everybody’s gonna tell you it’s not worth it
Everybody’s gotta show you their own thing
You might try to find your way up around it
But the need for love will still remain

Now we’re lying here
So safe in the ruins of our pleasures
Laughter marks the place where we have fallen
And our lives are near
So it wouldn’t occur to us to wonder
Is this the past or the future that is calling

You know I’ve loved these times you’ve come.

Just as Beautiful

I leaned back in my chair
I closed my eyes and
I saw
Everything,
Each moment,
From the time that we met
Until the time that you
Walked away,

When we first met
When we first slept together
Every time after that…

That time we quit,
Then spent all night on the phone
Making up and
Swearing
We would never quit again

I saw you one evening,
You took me to dinner
To tell me that you were sick,
Then I cried the entire drive home,

I see all of these moments and more,
From the depths of my memory,
Memories that have not been taken,
Memories I am thankful for,

As painful as some of them are,
There are so many more that are
Just as beautiful

— GB

An Old Pain

It is after one and
The lights are low
Even the crickets and
The frogs have
Gone to sleep

There’s a book on
The pillow
Begging me to
Crack its spine
So I can get lost
In it
For a while

But I can’t turn away
These thoughts of you
Haunt me in little ways
Almost every night

I let you in
To preserve you
In my heart and my head

It would be worse if I
Ever lost any part of you
So I endure these
Repeated points of pain

I wrap my arms around me
Pretending you are in
My embrace
A quiet tear slips down
My cheek
Remembering you are not
Actually here

It is just an old pain I
Choose to inflict
Upon myself

— GB