Time and Time Again

This song was pawing at me when I opened my eyes this morning.  I’ve never had a cat (allergic) but I have a friend that has a couple and when I stayed with her one of them, names escape me, would sit on the arm of the couch and paw at my head until I woke up.  I don’t know what it was hoping to get out of it’s display of affection because I don’t speak cat but it is an interesting way to wake up.  It was like the cat was pulling my string of consciousness until my eyes opened and I shooed it away.  That’s the way it was with this song this morning.  I kept hearing more and more of it as I slowly emerged from my slumber.

“Time and Time Again”
by Counting Crows

I wanted so badly
Somebody other than me
Staring back at me
But you were gone, gone, gone
I wanted to see you
Walking backwards
And get the sensation
Of you coming home
I wanted to see you
Walking away from me
Without the sensation
Of you leaving me alone

Time and time again
Time and time again
Time and time again
I can’t please myself

I wanted the ocean
To cover over me
I wanna sink slowly
Without getting wet
Maybe someday
I won’t be so lonely
And I’ll walk on water
Every chance I get

Time and time again
Time and time again
Time and time again
I can’t please myself

So when are you coming home, sweet angel?
You leaving me alone?
All alone?
Well if I’m drowning darling
You’ll come down this way on your own

I wish I was traveling on a freeway
Beneath this graveyard western sky
I’m gonna set fire to this city
And out into the desert we’re gonna ride

Time and time again
Time and time again
Time and time again
I can’t please myself

I can’t please myself
And I can’t please nobody else

Time and time again
Time and time again
Time and time again
I can’t please myself

Findin’ The Right Way Home

The line “Findin’ the right way home” appears several times in different forms in Jimmy Buffett’s song, “Incommunicado”.  But it’s the line that has stood out to me over the past several days while the song has rolled around my mind.  I think it’s because I’ve been searching for a home, a permanent home for going on five years now.  Whether it’s a physical home, a spiritual home, a metaphorical home… I don’t know the answer to that.  I thought I had found it in San Diego and there isn’t a day that goes by I don’t long to be back there.  I just keep thinking that I can make it work out there, somehow.  I don’t know what was so toxic, I just know that something was.  But enough of that.  Here’s the song that has been with me for the past two days.

“Incommunicado”
by Jimmy Buffett

Travis McGee’s still in Cedar Key
That’s what John McDonald said
My rendezvous so long overdue
With all of the things I’ve sung and read
They still apply to me, they all make sense in time

But now I’m incommunicado
Driving by myself down the road with a hole in it
Songs with no bravado
Takin’ the long way home

Now on the day that John Wayne died
I found myself on the continental divide
Tell me where do we go from here?
Think I’ll ride into Leadville and have a few beers
Think of “Red River”, “Liberty Valence” can’t believe
the old man’s gone

But now he’s incommunicado
Leaving such a hole in a world that believed
That a life with such bravado
Was taking the right way home

So when I finished the last line
I put the book by itself on the shelf
With my heart in it
Never wasting time takin’ the right way home
I know you’re never wastin’ time
Findin’ the right way home

Still I am incommunicado
Livin’ next door to a leg with a pin in it
Never wastin’ time, takin’ the right way home

Ours

For over a week now I’ve had two lines from a song creeping into my mind upon occasion and I couldn’t place them.  Instead of doing a Google search I made it my mission to listen to all the music I had in my car (not a lot compared to all the music I have, but it was the most likely place) in search of the song with these lines in it:

“People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard”

Don’t even ask why it was playing mind intruder for a week or so, you know how the mind does and doesn’t work, it just was.  Today, on the way to NAMI Group I heard the song and for the first chorus I didn’t know I had heard it.  It was raining pretty hard and I was paying more attention to the two-lane winding road that what was in the CD player.  Then, I had to brake really hard for a pulp truck turning turning into my lane and I heard the second chorus.  It clicked, I had found the song. So here it is, not the best song in the world but a good song in my opinion.  And….the one that’s had lines bouncing about my brain.

“Ours”
By Taylor Swift

“Elevator buttons and morning air
Strangers’ silence makes me wanna take the stairs
If you were here we’d laugh about their vacant stares
But right now my time is theirs

Seems like there’s always someone who disapproves
They’ll judge it like they know about me and you
And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do
The jury’s out, but my choice is you

So don’t you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
The stakes are high, the water’s rough
But this love is ours

You never know what people have up their sleeves
Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me
Lurking in the shadows with their lip gloss smiles
But I don’t care ’cause right now you’re mine

And you’ll say
Don’t you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
The stakes are high, the water’s rough
But this love is ours

And it’s not theirs to speculate
If it’s wrong and
Your hands are tough
But they are where mine belong and
I’ll fight their doubt and give you faith
With this song for you

‘Cause I love the gap between your teeth
And I love the riddles that you speak
And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored
‘Cause my heart is yours

So don’t you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
Don’t you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
But they can’t take what’s ours
They can’t take what’s ours

The stakes are high, the water’s rough
But this love is ours”

Mrs. Potter’s Lullaby

I was reading and writing this afternoon, and listening to Spotify. I forget which “Radio Station” I was listening to but, this song came on that I used to listen to all the time.  I’ve listened to this band since college, the song is from 2008 but I have mental ties to the band since 1993-94.  They have seen me through thick and thin, up and down and the wrong way around.  It’s safe to say that they have had a significant influence on me.  My favorite poet, for a long time, has been Adam Duritz.  He has a perspective that opens my eyes and blows my mind.  I agree, he can be an acquired taste.  My dad doesn’t care for the way he whines.  Anyhow, I was so happy to hear this song this afternoon that I almost (almost) started to well up.  This is “Mrs. Potter’s Lullaby” by Counting Crows

“Well I woke up in mid afternoon cause that’s when it all hurts the most
I dream I never know anyone at the party and I’m always the host
If dreams are like movies then memories are films about ghosts
You can never escape, you can only move south down the coast
Well I am an idiot walking a tightrope of fortune and fame
I am an acrobat swinging trapezes through circles of flame
If you’ve never stared off into the distance then your life is a shame
And though I’ll never forget your face sometimes I can’t remember my name

Hey, Mrs. Potter, don’t cry
Hey, Mrs. Potter, I know why
But, hey, Mrs. Potter, won’t you talk to me

Well there’s a piece of Maria in every song that I sing
And the price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings
And there is always one last light to turn out and one last bell to ring
And the last one out of the circus has to lock up everything
Or the elephants will get out and forget to remember what you said
Oh and the ghosts of the tilt-o-whirl will linger inside of your head
Oh and the Ferris wheel junkies will spin there forever instead
When I see you, a blanket of stars covers me in my bed

Hey, Mrs. Potter, don’t go, I said
Hey, Mrs. Potter, I don’t know, but
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won’t you talk to me

Well all the blue light reflections that color my mind when I sleep
And the lovesick rejections that accompany the company I keep
All the razor perceptions that cut just a little too deep
Hey, I can bleed as well as anyone but I need someone to help me sleep
So I throw my hand into the air and it swims in the beams
It’s just a brief interruption of the swirling dust sparkle jet stream
Well I know I don’t know you and you’re probably not what you seem
Aw, but I’d sure like to find out
So why don’t you climb down off that movie screen

Hey, Mrs. Potter, don’t turn
Hey, Mrs. Potter, I burn for you
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won’t you talk to me

When the last king of Hollywood shatters his glass on the floor
And orders another
Well, I wonder what he did that for
That’s when I know that I have to get out cause I have been there before
So I gave up my seat at the bar and I head for the door. Yeah.
We drove out to the desert just to lie down beneath this bowl of stars
We stand up in the Palace, like it’s the last of the great pioneer town bars
Aw, we shout out these songs against the clang of electric guitars
Well, you can see a million miles tonight
But you can’t get very far
Aw, you can see a million miles tonight
But you can’t get very far

Hey, Mrs. Potter, I won’t touch and
Hey, Mrs. Potter, it’s not much but
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won’t you talk to me
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won’t you talk to me
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won’t you talk to me”

All comments, as always, are welcome.

Two Songs Today Pt.2 02/13/14

I slept later than usual today and the second song for the day spun around for a few hours of waking and turning over and waking again.  It’s a song I first heard the Indigo Girls play, now I’m not sure if I like their version better than Joni Mitchell’s.  It’s a really hard decision to make.  For the purposes of this post I’m going to choose Joni Mitchell.  This is “River” by Joni Mitchell

“It’s coming on Christmas,
They’re cutting down trees.
They’re putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace,
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

But it don’t snow here,
Stays pretty green.
I’m gonna make a lot of money
And and then I’m gonna quit this crazy scene.
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

I wish I had a river so long,
I would teach my feet to fly.
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.
I made my baby cry.

he tried hard to help me,
he put me at ease.
lord,he loved me so naughty,
made me weak in the knees.
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

I’m so hard to handle,
I’m selfish and I’m sad.
Now I’ve gone and lost the best baby
That I’ve ever had.
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

I wish I had a river so long,
I would teach my feet to fly.
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.
I made my baby say goodbye.

It’s coming on Christmas,
They’re cutting down trees.
They’re putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace,
I wish I had a river I could skate away on.”

Two Songs Today Pt.1 02/13/14

Today was one of those two song days.  I first woke up at six with Tori Amos playing in the ether.  I lay there, stone still, staring at the ceiling fan trying to keep the tune playing as long as possible. I got to

“and i put the hood
right back where
you could taste heaven
perfectly”

Which is almost the end.  I don’t know what it is about this song but it seems to pop up at transitional time in my life.  I wonder what change is going to come to me in the near future…..
Here’s Tori Amos with “A Sorta Fairytale”

“on my way up north
up on the ventura
i pulled back the hood
and i was talking to you
and i knew then it would be
a life long thing
but i didn’t know that we
we could break a silver lining

and i’m so sad
like a good book
i can’t put this day back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you

things you said that day
up on the 101
the girl had come undone
i tried to downplay it
with a bet about us
you said that-
you’d take it
as long as i could
i could not erase it

and i’m so sad
like a good book
i can’t put this day back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you

and i ride along side
and i rode along side
you then
and i rode along side
till you lost me there
in the open road
and i rode along side
till the honey spread
itself so thin
for me to break your bread
for me to take your word
i had to steal it

and i’m so sad
like a good book
i can’t put this day back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you

i could pick back up
whenever i feel

down new mexico way
something about
the open road
i knew that he was
looking for some indian blood and
find a little in you find a little
in me we may be
on this road but
we’re just
impostors
in this country you know
so we go along and we said
we’d fake it
feel better with
oliver stone
till i
almost smacked him –
seemed right that night and
i don’t know what
takes hold
out there in the
desert cold
these guys think they must
try and just get over on us

and i’m so sad
like a good book
i can’t put this
day back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you

and i was ridin’ by
ridin’ along side
for a while till you lost me
and i was ridin’ by
ridin’ along till you lost me
till you lost
me in
the rear
view
you lost me
i said

way up north i took my day
all in all was a pretty nice
day and i put the hood
right back where
you could taste heaven
perfectly
feel out the summer breeze
didn’t know when we’d be back
and i, i don’t
didn’t think
we’d end up like
like this”

Waking up today

It’s been a little while since I woke up with a song in my head, at least one that was strong after I’d used the facilities.  This morning I was graced with two that stayed with me through breakfast.  Now what can I say about these two except that they should both end up on any classic rock collection.  They are very different songs.  One by one of the greatest singer/songwriters the US has ever produced and the other is by a British Super-group that is arguably one of the best rock bands ever.  I can’t tell you why these two songs were rolling around my cranium together, if I could do that I think I’d be capable of so much more.  The first song is very complicated while the other is very simple.

The songs are “Blinded by the Light”  by Bruce Springsteen (not the Manfred Mann version) and
“The Rain Song”  by Led Zeppelin

The part of the Springsteen song that keep repeating on me is the beginning of the third verse:

“Some silicone sister with her manager’s mister told me I got what it takes
She said, “I’ll turn you on, sonny, to something strong if you play that song with the funky break”

The part of “The Rain Song” that has been spinning in my brain is very short but poignant to me because I can hear all the music that goes with it:

“But I know, that I love you so”

And here are the full sets of lyrics:

“Blinded by the Light”  by Bruce Springsteen:

Madman drummers bummers and Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin’ kinda older, I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasing sneezing and wheezing, the calliope crashed to the ground
Some all-hot half-shot was headin’ for the hot spot, snappin’ his fingers, clappin’ his hands
And some fleshpot mascot was tied into a lover’s knot with a whatnot in her hand
And now young Scott with a slingshot finally found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand
And some bloodshot forget-me-not whispers, “Daddy’s within earshot, save the buckshot, turn up the band”

And she was blinded by the light
Cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
She got down but she never got tight, but she’ll make it alright

Some brimstone baritone anti-cyclone rolling stone preacher from the East
He says, “Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in its funny bone, that’s where they expect it least”
And some new-mown chaperone was standin’ in the corner all alone, watchin’ the young girls dance
And some fresh-sown moonstone was messin’ with his frozen zone to remind him of the feeling of romance

Yeah, he was blinded by the light
Cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
He got down but he never got tight, but he’s gonna make it tonight

Some silicone sister with her manager’s mister told me I got what it takes
She said, “I’ll turn you on, sonny, to something strong if you play that song with the funky break”
And Go-Cart Mozart was checkin’ out the weather chart to see if it was safe to go outside
And little Early-Pearly came by in her curly-wurly and asked me if I needed a ride
Oh, some hazard from Harvard was skunked on beer, playin’ backyard bombardier
Yes, and Scotland Yard was trying hard, they sent some dude with a calling card, he said, “Do what you like, but don’t do it here”
Well, I jumped up, turned around, spit in the air, fell on the ground and asked him which was the way back home
He said, “Take a right at the light, keep goin’ straight until night, and then, boy, you’re on your own”
And now in Zanzibar, a shootin’ star was ridin’ in a side car, hummin’ a lunar tune
Yes, and the avatar said, “Blow the bar but first remove the cookie jar, we’re gonna teach those boys to laugh too soon”
And some kidnapped handicap was complainin’ that he caught the clap from some mousetrap he bought last night
Well, I unsnapped his skull cap and between his ears I saw a gap but figured he’d be all right

He was just blinded by the light
Cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
Mama always told me not to look into the sights of the sun
Oh, but Mama, that’s where the fun is
I was blinded
I was blinded
I was blinded

“The Rain Song”  by Led Zeppelin

This is the springtime of my loving – the second season I am to know
You are the sunlight in my growing – so little warmth I’ve felt before.
It isn’t hard to feel me glowing – I watched the fire that grew so low.

It is the summer of my smiles – flee from me Keepers of the Gloom.
Speak to me only with your eyes. It is to you I give this tune.
Ain’t so hard to recognize – These things are clear to all from
time to time.

Talk Talk – I’ve felt the coldness of my winter
I never thought it would ever go. I cursed the gloom that set upon us…
But I know that I love you so

These are the seasons of emotion and like the winds they rise and fall
This is the wonder of devotion – I see the torch we all must hold.
This is the mystery of the quotient – Upon us all a little rain must fall.