the completed playlist

i am feeling like the emptiness
of a completed playlist…

the realization that
nothing is coming next,
the silence pervades
and instead of choosing something
else to listen to,
i just sit and pay attention
to the vacancy,
ignoring the force inside me
wanting to immediately
start something up,
to fill the void,
instead, i listen to my heart,
to my breathing,
to my weight in this world,
instead, i notice everything else
and i find contentment
in my inaction,
because, though i haven’t
physically moved,
mountains have traveled
within me

glb /// “the completed playlist”
originally published 01.14.2019

so few words after such a long time

so few words after such a long time
my closest confidant
my brother in
bubble
bubble… you know the rest
road trips and roller-coasters
hot sweaty nights
dropping heavy beats
grabbing at the base of our skulls
we both wanted
and so did she
both
that did not split us
but pulled our beings tighter
we three making promises
with every good intention

time sped up
compressing our souls
torn apart and decimated

silence slowly eroded
like water over stone
after a millineum
we are scatterd
by a harsh wind,
quiet words whispered
into the hot velvet night

your words…… words
wander in
so matter-of-fact
as if you belong here
as if I had kept a space here

after-all we were inseparable

when I come to the edge
of the ravine you once
inhabited
i am disgusted by my choices,
do I fill it in
and run away
leaving that spot for
something else
or
dive headlong into
the abyss
that was created
by two complicated men
with a simple love
for one woman

glb /// “so few words after such a long time”
originally published 01/06/2016

every morning since…

there’s a slight bump
i reach out to you
and the bed is empty
warm where you were
with a vague scent of
your perfume

i slumber on your side
i don’t want you to
return to cold sheets
i don’t sleep very
well when you’re
not in bed with me

sunrise is seconds
away and you have
not returned to join
me, where have you
gone?

this happens every
morning since…

glb /// “every morning since…”
originally published 02/09/2014

survive

when the copper stops buzzing in your brain
and the sweat pours down your neck
i will be there to hold you when the spasm begins

the application of pain is the measure
tolerance raises the bar for the next
it’s hard to tell where the victory lies
the strange attractors have done their damage

down deep, enveloped in gloom
cast by the only bulb in the cavernous hall
you prepare to put on your show,
daring to expose all in attendance
as patrons of the darkest art of all

you mime kindness
whisper intimacy
talk of hope
shriek out love

the cacophony deafens
voices drawn tight
refusing to admit
that the one thing they have in common…
(humanity)
is the hardest thing
to achieve

glb /// “survive”
originally published 03/01/2018