that time

an ostrich, with my head in the sand
terrified and shaking
“what if they find out…”
“what if anyone finds out…”
it’s not as if i hadn’t made it known
at least a few times,
it’s not as if i made it
a great big secret,
anyone can look if they want to,
anyone can poison
the waters against me

laid open and exposed
i suffer tiny deaths
any time i encounter someone
for the first time,
“what do they know?”
“how do they know?”
“can they just see it in me?”

i am terrified to turn that corner,
pull out that chair, open that door
“is this going to be that time?”
i don’t want to find myself
cowering in the corner
sobbing uncontrollably
because this one little “secret”
has been used against me

— glb

valium speaks

let me carry you in my arms
through the trials of life
put your head on my shoulder
I’ll protect you from harm

rest without a fear of consequence
pull these curtains closed
escape into the soft darkness
erase all your cares

sink back into a bed of pillows
let fine mists roll across your mind
step into a pond of well-being
and let other thoughts dissolve

— GB

You Have Won

when the mountain of doubt
makes it too hard to get out of bed
in the morning, and you do it still
you have won

when you expect to hear demons
on the other end of the line
you make the call anyway
you have won

when going out that door
would me a certain fiery death
but you head out in spite of it
you have won

when the myriad rational
and irrational fears push you around
and you stomp and pound and
push those bullies back
you have won

— GB