You Are Gone From Me

I hold my head in my hands
I have been crying for so long
I can’t cry anymore
Everything is dry
I can’t even shout out my
Anger and my sorrow
I came running to where I
Thought you would be
But the bed was empty
You were gone from me
Faster than I expected
I had left you sooner
Than I should have

Now, I will never look
Into those wonderful
Blue eyes of yours
Nor hold you hand to
My lips and feel the
Life coursing through it

I will never kiss your lips
Or say “I Love You”
Ever again

You are gone from me

— GB

preemptive tit-for-tat

cry your eyes out when you
realize I have gone

it was nothing more than a
preemptive tit-for-tat

I leave you before you can leave me
before I can leave you

why are you crying so much
if you knew it was coming

did you think that I was so naive
that I didn’t know

you’ve had leaving on your face
for such a long time

I just beat you to it

— GB


“you mean we actually are all one” — Alanis

If we are one…

Why don’t
You fall
When I stumble

Why don’t
You bleed
When I cut

Why don’t
You cry
When I’m sad

Why do
You cringe
When I’m boisterous

Why don’t
You soar
When I’m high

Why don’t
You go to jail
When I get arrested

Why don’t
You spend time in that room
When they can’t find another way

Why don’t
Your hands get the tremors
At random times during the day

Why don’t
You always find me
No matter where I am

If we are one…

Why don’t
I enjoy the quiet
That helps you read

Why don’t
I listen to the love songs
That bring tears to your eyes

Why don’t
I make any new friends
When you’ve got one every week

Why don’t
I hold down a job
You get promoted all the time

Why don’t
I take my medication
When you don’t take any at all

If we are one…

Why aren’t we together more often?
Is it because I stress you out?
Is it all the talk about love and forever?
Does that stuff make it hard for you to be my best friend?

Why do you stop me from going on rooftops?
Do you think I don’t know I can’t fly?
Don’t you know it’s a trick to see how far I can go?
Why do you cover your eyes?

Why aren’t you down here with me?
Are you afraid of the dark?
Do you imagine something down here will hurt you?
Why would I let that happen?

If we are one…

You should be everything I am
And I should be everything you are
If we can’t be one together
What’s the point of this whole thing?

— GB

A Sob Story

I cry at the drop of a hat. Just about anything can set it off. Seeing someone else crying is probably the number one trigger. Another one is the singing of “God Bless America” during the seventh inning stretch at a baseball game. Actually, I get teary-eyed anytime I hear the song now. It’s not so much the song as it is the tradition of singing it that was introduced in remembrance of 9/11.

Other triggers include:

–The last five minutes of the NBC Nightly News. There’s usually a poignant story there that moistens my eyes.

–Crowds singing along and singing louder than the band at a concert, something about that level fandom really gets to me.

–Random song lyrics, I can be driving along or sitting at home and hear something in the singer’s inflection or a lyric that I hadn’t thought about before that opens the floodgates.

–The VT Hokies Football team running onto the field in Lane Stadium to the blaring of “Enter Sandman” by Metallica and the camera panning the crowd to show the all the fans jumping in unison.

These are just the things that I know will affect me. There’s always something else that will take me by surprise and turn me into a blubbering fool. I’m not exactly sure why that is. Even when I’ve been caught in a deep depression, I haven’t had the tendency to cry like I do with the items above.