if only…

i wage a silent internal battle
there is so much more
pulling me down on the inside
than there has ever been out there
though my exterior demons
always take the blame

when my face is screwed up
and i cannot speak
through the sobs i am
throwing at the night

when i believe everything
is coming to a
savage, bleeding end

i lie to a perfect stranger
to prove to myself
that i have some control
over something
if only for a fleeting moment

it is the same lie i tell myself
time and time and
time again
everything is going to be fine
if only…

glb /// “if only…”
going-sideways.com original

experience it

bring me that beat you’ve been hiding
in those turntable stacks
pound it into my skull
and pull it out my sternum

now launch that melody
let it soar up through the lights
and down into my pliable brain
watch it weave its way
around my synapses
as they fire to your will

you have control over
everything Master DJ
flip my world inside out
make it bend and burn
and end only to be brought
back with a rocket full
of searing chords until…

i am spent, gelatinous,
in danger of being trampled
or mopped up as the club
empties, eager for the end
of the next week to come
back and experience it
all again

glb /// “experience it”
originally published 03/21/2014