if i can

i hold you angry at arms length
any closer would shatter my will
and any notion i am over you

if i can stand here and grit my teeth
at the very mention of your name
i can summon the will to crush
your memory under my heel

but that’s all in the muted light
of the night sky
wishing it held the brilliance
we did

that’s where the memory lives
close enough
and
far enough

glb /// “if i can”
originally published 01/05/2020