sleepless 4 of 4

i hate waking up to that feeling
deep, deep in the night
the nagging, gnawing
wraith of a thought
that isn’t gone

that the nasty fucker that
i thought i was rid of
is still just hanging around
biding its time

then it will come back
with a vengeance
to finish what it started

it doesn’t happen very often
but sometimes I let
myself wander off
into the farthest
corners of my mind
i discover these little ideas
lying around

those are the things that
nightmares are really
made of

glb /// “sleepless 4”
originally published 04/06/2006


what broke inside me,
to cause so much turmoil,
to ones i hold dear?

what pressure was too much,
to shatter so completely?

i have no clear evidence,
only glimpses of light,
to steer me through the darkness,
to make my wrongs into right

it hasn’t been bad forever,
despite how interminable it feels,
trying to get back to normal,
will take a lifetime of years

so i wait for doctors,
to pronounce my fate,
and tell me,
why i broke so fast,
and they arrived too late

glb /// “broke”
originally published 10/20/2013