Tag: Anticipation

lightning

Posted on by Gavin

lightning peels back
my already shattered sky
i am still jolted
not ready for the crack
although i see it break
i tried to embrace it
become one with it
if it would not become
one with me

out in the middle
of a field turning
around and around
making myself the
tallest thing for miles
making myself as
much of a target
as i can hope to be

i anticipate the blast
i am braced for the shock
of heartache, of melancholy,
of grief at your inability to
love me enough that i
must go diving into
driving thunderheads
just to find what i imagine
what my own life is
supposed to feel like

glb /// “lightning”
originally published 12/13/2015

sleepless 4 of 4

Posted on by Gavin

i hate waking up to that feeling
deep, deep in the night
the nagging, gnawing
wraith of a thought
that isn’t gone

that the nasty fucker that
i thought i was rid of
is still just hanging around
biding its time

then it will come back
with a vengeance
to finish what it started

it doesn’t happen very often
but sometimes I let
myself wander off
into the farthest
corners of my mind
i discover these little ideas
lying around

those are the things that
nightmares are really
made of

glb /// “sleepless 4”
originally published 04/06/2006

do i want…

Posted on by Gavin

i don’t want to love you
“more than you will ever know” or
“beyond your wildest dreams”
i want you to dream it and wake up
and know that it is true

you see,

with you there is no other
“i don’t want”

because ever since that day
you turned to look back at me

man! do i want…

i want to be under an umbrella
at a little café in mons
and watch as the sun replaces
the shadows on your cheek

i want to listen intently
to every word you speak
as if i know i am going deaf
and i want your voice to be
the last sound i hear

i want to get embarrassed together
about something only we know
because the waitress mentioned the
deserts included baklava and cherries jubilee

i want to have a breathless flashback
every time i hear nine inch nails
and imagine you dancing naked
on the foot of the bed

with you there is no
“i don’t want”

because ever since that day
you smiled at me

damn! do i want…

i want to write an opera
about that spot at the
nape of your neck
and how i would spend the rest
of my days there if i could

i want to wake before dawn
and carry you
wrapped in a blanket
to the front porch so we can
watch the dew settle

i want to take your hand in mine
at the age of 95
and recall fondly
the woman that you were
and be thankful for the woman you are

i want to sit in the dark
experiencing that “comfortable silence”
knowing we don’t have to fill
the soundless void
just to be at ease with each other

with you there is no
“i don’t want”

because ever since that day
you became part of my life

god! do i want…

i want to learn the words
to every single one of
your favorite songs
so we can harmonize
in the shower

i want to be lost in the middle of nowhere
for days
and when they find me
i will refuse all food and drink
until i can be with you

i want to be the reason for
the sinfully sexy smirk on your face
the subject of
the remembering roll of your eyes

i don’t want to love you
“more than you will ever know” or
“beyond your wildest dreams”

i want you to dream it and wake up
and know that it is true

because with you there is no
“i don’t want”

and ever since that day
you stopped me in my tracks
i can’t help but want, and want, and want…

glb /// “do i want…”
going-sideways.com original

every morning since…

Posted on by Gavin

there’s a slight bump
i reach out to you
and the bed is empty
warm where you were
with a vague scent of
your perfume

i slumber on your side
i don’t want you to
return to cold sheets
i don’t sleep very
well when you’re
not in bed with me

sunrise is seconds
away and you have
not returned to join
me, where have you
gone?

this happens every
morning since…

glb /// “every morning since…”
originally published 02/09/2014

untitled #512

Posted on by Gavin

i carry a lot around
with me
more than i need to
a hell of a lot
more than i should

i want it all to be
right at the surface
where it can be accessed
without any
rummaging around
without the chance of
missing the moment

constantly ready for
something to happen
but
it rarely does
still
i carry my load around
with me
the weight of it
pulling me down
dulling my senses

until i could no more
jump at a chance
than i could
win a marathon

i sit and i
look at where i am
and i simply ask
why?

glb /// “untitled #512”
originally published 05/29/2015

her heart

Posted on by Gavin

her heart is all i want
until I start thinking about…

her mind
goes where her heart goes
agile and intelligent
intellectual and mysterious
a pleasure to be with
an adventure in itself

her face
beautiful and infinitely expressive
a world of imagination in every look
I imagine spending hours caressing
her cheek

her eyes
hiding and revealing in each smoky glance
to be lost in them
is to be found

those luscious lips
erotic to kiss
sensitive to body, mind and soul
a gateway to worlds unknown
quick with a quip
subtle and supple

her neck
draws my interest
I would kiss it constantly
to the peril
of neglecting all else

hands
strong
gentle
softly holding my soul

her eyes shoot sparks into
the universe
with those hands
she pulls endless stars
from oblivion
building mountains of light
beckoning me
entrancing mind
enthralling my soul

everything else
is pure imagination
and supposition
a known and unknown
quantity
of pleasure
of love
of lust
of promise

glb /// “her heart”
originally published 04/20/2019

again still

Posted on by Gavin

she comes clattering in
not unlike a whirlwind
in the very instant of her entry
you know that the entire room has changed
for the better

she lives for the moment
every piece of it
something amazing
sit and watch her
be in the space she occupies
it is hers

and i am drawn to it
i am drawn to her
it is out of my control
a powerful force
compels me

when i realized that i love her
again
still
it made so much sense
it was then that i knew
it was for the better
it was the that i knew
it was for good

glb /// “again still”
originally published 04/22/2016