infinite blank pages

infinite blank pages hold
such
promise
such
potential

i imagine all
i could write
for you

the possibility
held in all
the open space

still not coming close
for what i mean
to say to you

— glb

when i want to quit

when i want to quit
i sit
i imagine
taking your face in my hands
and staring into those eyes,
locked in a forever gaze
my hands are trembling
you lean in
i feel your lips on my ear
you softly whisper
“relax, let the world
come to you”
i sigh and pull back
to look at your wonderful face
kissing you lightly
on the dimple made
by that amazing smile

— glb

I crave

I crave new space,
the ability to unpack
my head,
my heart,
my soul,
into a place
no one has
ever lived

I crave a place
without memories

I crave
boxes full of me
piled in the
middle of the room,
my life’s story
pouring out
to meet
someplace original

I crave
my own noise
my own solitude
my own company
my own first times

— glb

from an old dark place

pounded into the carpet
sobbing and cringing
i can’t breathe
this is where
i come apart
i am disintegrating
i can’t utter a sound
this is where
i lose everything
i am going away
for a very long time

— glb

what i know now

what I know now
I have to love myself first
I can’t heal without it
I can’t expect it to come
only from someone else
I have to find it within myself
I have to be open and honest about
what I’m going through
I have the right to expect that
from others
It’s ok to be scared
it’s ok to be vulnerable
It’s ok to ask for help
It’s ok to stand up for myself
It’s ok to walk away if I need to
all of these are necessary
plus 101 million others

— glb

a kiss on the cheek

hold me now and please
don’t let me go,
i’ve come a long way
this day and all
i want is sleep

but, your eyes are bright
and inquisitive
so i will stay up,
we can talk for a while

put you hand in mine
feel it tremble with our
fingers entwined

i am not as i once was
i am not as expected,
i am as i fully am,
there’s nothing to
hide from you,
i couldn’t do it
if i tried

i have had days
confusing days
that i barely emerged from

i mean to tell you
about them,
explain them to you
from my perspective

my hope is that
in telling you my tale,
you will know something
more about me

if i am successful
you will know where
i come from,
the fires that made me,
and the demons that
still haunt me

give me a kiss
on my cheek
when you are ready
to begin

— glb