distractions

i try so hard to push you
to the back of my mind
where i might not notice you
as much,
where you won’t trip me up,
but every turn,
page or corner,
brings you to the front
where i have to read the words
or see your shape in shadows,
you are in everything,
fleeting glimpse,
lines on the page,
sweet sweet memory of
your taste on my tongue,
perfume on my collar,
distractions…
i can’t get enough of

— glb

untitled 020619 a

I can’t seem to get out
of my own way,
a step forward falls victim
to double-talk,
triple belief that I will
make something of myself…

then I won’t

uncertainty pushes its
way through my mind
dragging doubt with it
fueling fear of failure

what’s the point
in even trying?

— glb

aimless

aimless
seeking guidance,
a way to break
this stasis

change for the sake of
well-being,
forward momentum,
movement in any
direction

yearning for
sparks of intuition
my path to the stars

— glb

the completed playlist…

I am feeling like the emptiness
of a completed playlist…

the realization that
nothing is coming next,
the silence pervades
and instead of choosing something
else to listen to,
I just sit and pay attention
to the vacancy,
ignoring the force inside me
wanting to immediately
start something up,
to fill the void,
instead,
I listen to my heart,
to my breathing,
to my weight in this world,
instead,
I notice everything else
and I find contentment
in my inaction,
because, though I haven’t
physically moved,
mountains have traveled
within me

— glb