i thought

i thought you left,
but when i saw you
again it was like you
had never…

now i know
you were gone
before i ever
got there

being there was
your way of being
gone from some
other way of living

we were never
fully together,
the feelings
it felt like
we shared
were figments
and ghosts

the loss i felt
was nothing
compared
to the love we
never shared

why do i feel
i should
apologize?

glb /// “i thought”
originally published 03/03/2014

door 521

one flight up and through
door 521 is the first real
home where i lived
alone, my life solitary,
not lonely, full of life,
full of music and light.

a place, where i learned
things, about life, about
love, about death and
mortality, about the
nature of being human,
about human nature,
i learned about how
to be a friend, and how
to deal with betrayal,

i learned about music,
about sex, i learned
to appreciate the sound
of freedom, even in
the middle of a migraine

i learned how to write,
how to get deep down
inside and express the
deepest and the darkest

i learned how to escape
into myself, i learned what
depression really is

but most of all, wrapping
all these things and more
together i learned
what it is to be me

glb /// “door 521”
originally published 01/17/2014

the complex story of the moose and the quiche

and i feel like what we have is
a combination of complex flavors
at an uptown italian restaurant
where breadcrumbs get swept
off the table and the wine is…

more complicated than quiche
with a moose on the i-95 in
northern florida, can we explain
this to the ones who don’t
understand where the moose
comes in because i don’t
think they really understand…

how what we have is complex
like moose and quiche is
if you’re in northern florida
(the moose is what makes it
so complex, because there aren’t
any moose in florida), never mind,
now the poem is self aware and
is never going to be able to
illustrate how complex we are…

like a hand full of meds, deciding
which to take now and
which to throw out because i am
really feeling so much better than
i did about an hour ago, and is
there some way you could help
me prop my heard up so i can
look you in the face when i
am taking these, please, thank you

glb /// “the complex story of the moose and the quiche”
originally published 02/07/2014

reality

this is where it starts
in a light flooded room
with no windows
with no doors

i stand in the middle
there is no shadow cast

come sing with me
that song without words
that rhymes with anything
we can think to say

come draw on the walls
strange shapes in neon
dinosaurs and cats
play happily in the fountain

come read that book
ten thousand lines long
with pages made
of crinoline from your skirt

it ends abruptly
words fade to silence
the fountain goes dry
the book disintegrates

you are gone too
i am left wanting

in the glaring light
there is no way out
only deepening confusion
about my reality

glb /// “reality”
originally published 10/26/2013