like an end

i struggle to capture
your stars
your sparks
the essence of you
that makes
my heart pound
my mind spin
my mouth dry
my hands tremble

something that came so easily
seems nearly impossible

this feels more
like an end
than anything
i have ever felt
and
i do not know
what to do with it

— glb

when i want to quit

when i want to quit
i sit
i imagine
taking your face in my hands
and staring into those eyes,
locked in a forever gaze
my hands are trembling
you lean in
i feel your lips on my ear
you softly whisper
“relax, let the world
come to you”
i sigh and pull back
to look at your wonderful face
kissing you lightly
on the dimple made
by that amazing smile

— glb

I crave

I crave new space,
the ability to unpack
my head,
my heart,
my soul,
into a place
no one has
ever lived

I crave a place
without memories

I crave
boxes full of me
piled in the
middle of the room,
my life’s story
pouring out
to meet
someplace original

I crave
my own noise
my own solitude
my own company
my own first times

— glb

if no one else

she is the one
if no one else,
she would be able
to bring you back

it has always been her,
from the very beginning
it was obvious,
she was special
and
if no one else,
she would be able
to bring you back

through everything
I have been through,
and
you have been through,

a word to know
you have been
paying attention,

in search of sunrise
to soothe a bad day away

if no one else,
she would be

— glb

from an old dark place

pounded into the carpet
sobbing and cringing
i can’t breathe
this is where
i come apart
i am disintegrating
i can’t utter a sound
this is where
i lose everything
i am going away
for a very long time

— glb

a kiss on the cheek

hold me now and please
don’t let me go,
i’ve come a long way
this day and all
i want is sleep

but, your eyes are bright
and inquisitive
so i will stay up,
we can talk for a while

put you hand in mine
feel it tremble with our
fingers entwined

i am not as i once was
i am not as expected,
i am as i fully am,
there’s nothing to
hide from you,
i couldn’t do it
if i tried

i have had days
confusing days
that i barely emerged from

i mean to tell you
about them,
explain them to you
from my perspective

my hope is that
in telling you my tale,
you will know something
more about me

if i am successful
you will know where
i come from,
the fires that made me,
and the demons that
still haunt me

give me a kiss
on my cheek
when you are ready
to begin

— glb

13 days

13 days to live or die

I chose the former,
the universe…
the latter

i do not know
the ferocity
of the fight,
only that it left
unbelievable
scars

it changed me
in ways i cannot
even begin to explain

for better
for worse
i am still here

for yes
for no
i answer your call
i answer your questions

i feel my longing
in the chasm of the night
until
the opaque gray morning
filters in
revealing your empty
side of the bed

i try not to react
to your endless absence,
dressing quickly
i slip into the
misty morning

i scribble your name
into the dew on my car
continually checking
over my shoulder
hoping you’ll catch me…

– glb