her heart

her heart is all i want
until I start thinking about…

her mind
goes where her heart goes
agile and intelligent
intellectual and mysterious
a pleasure to be with
an adventure in itself

her face
beautiful and infinitely expressive
a world of imagination in every look
I imagine spending hours caressing
her cheek

her eyes
hiding and revealing in each smoky glance
to be lost in them
is to be found

those luscious lips
erotic to kiss
sensitive to body, mind and soul
a gateway to worlds unknown
quick with a quip
subtle and supple

her neck
draws my interest
I would kiss it constantly
to the peril
of neglecting all else

hands
strong
gentle
softly holding my soul

her eyes shoot sparks into
the universe
with those hands
she pulls endless stars
from oblivion
building mountains of light
beckoning me
entrancing mind
enthralling my soul

everything else
is pure imagination
and supposition
a known and unknown
quantity
of pleasure
of love
of lust
of promise

— glb

that time

an ostrich, with my head in the sand
terrified and shaking
“what if they find out…”
“what if anyone finds out…”
it’s not as if i hadn’t made it known
at least a few times,
it’s not as if i made it
a great big secret,
anyone can look if they want to,
anyone can poison
the waters against me

laid open and exposed
i suffer tiny deaths
any time i encounter someone
for the first time,
“what do they know?”
“how do they know?”
“can they just see it in me?”

i am terrified to turn that corner,
pull out that chair, open that door
“is this going to be that time?”
i don’t want to find myself
cowering in the corner
sobbing uncontrollably
because this one little “secret”
has been used against me

— glb

I crave

I crave new space,
the ability to unpack
my head,
my heart,
my soul,
into a place
no one has
ever lived

I crave a place
without memories

I crave
boxes full of me
piled in the
middle of the room,
my life’s story
pouring out
to meet
someplace original

I crave
my own noise
my own solitude
my own company
my own first times

— glb

from an old dark place

pounded into the carpet
sobbing and cringing
i can’t breathe
this is where
i come apart
i am disintegrating
i can’t utter a sound
this is where
i lose everything
i am going away
for a very long time

— glb

a kiss on the cheek

hold me now and please
don’t let me go,
i’ve come a long way
this day and all
i want is sleep

but, your eyes are bright
and inquisitive
so i will stay up,
we can talk for a while

put you hand in mine
feel it tremble with our
fingers entwined

i am not as i once was
i am not as expected,
i am as i fully am,
there’s nothing to
hide from you,
i couldn’t do it
if i tried

i have had days
confusing days
that i barely emerged from

i mean to tell you
about them,
explain them to you
from my perspective

my hope is that
in telling you my tale,
you will know something
more about me

if i am successful
you will know where
i come from,
the fires that made me,
and the demons that
still haunt me

give me a kiss
on my cheek
when you are ready
to begin

— glb

13 days

13 days to live or die

I chose the former,
the universe…
the latter

i do not know
the ferocity
of the fight,
only that it left
unbelievable
scars

it changed me
in ways i cannot
even begin to explain

for better
for worse
i am still here

for yes
for no
i answer your call
i answer your questions

i feel my longing
in the chasm of the night
until
the opaque gray morning
filters in
revealing your empty
side of the bed

i try not to react
to your endless absence,
dressing quickly
i slip into the
misty morning

i scribble your name
into the dew on my car
continually checking
over my shoulder
hoping you’ll catch me…

– glb

it weighs on me

it weighs on me,
one million little pounds,
rake me across the coals
for seven empty minutes…

birthed again,
crashing into the world
literally less
than i was

even after all i’ve said,
and done,
i cry into the night
GIVE ME BACK!!!!

fill me in
PLEASE!!!!
make me whole,
let me stop
the constant search

put your hand on me,
trace my scars,
fill me up
with endless possibilities

shadowed potential
only reveals itself
when stumbling backwards
into my awakening

— glb