and

and, the things that were real
don’t seem so much lately
and, when I question that,
I question myself
and, those questions
don’t have answers
I want to hear

and, it all leaves me
laying on the floor
or
motionless on the couch
watching the flame
on the candle flicker

and
recognizing the random
decisionless little fire
and
seeing its twin in my soul
I snuff it out
and
breathe in the smoke,
inhaling the tiny death
knowing the flame
will never be the
same again

–glb

and i wait

i put myself into my own hands
i try to lift me up
above the miasma
and can only gather enough
strength to drag myself
through the stench

all the words say
“the only way out is through”
so i bear the rubbish and rust,
ask when it’s going to be my turn,
and count on the constant answer,
“you’re next, just hold on”
and i wait, i wait, wiat, wait
next never comes

i persevere
in love with my odds…

every single person that never tried,
didn’t succeed,
that one isn’t me
“am i next? is it going to be me?”
“yes son, you’re next, just hold on”

and i wait, i wait, wait, w-a-i-t

–glb

where is it?

where is it?
this ideal
that we talked about
that we swore upon
that we struggled to uphold

it is a broken dream
that only rattles around
hurting our souls

it got caught in
some memories
and choked on
expectations

fantasies of that
pure, bygone love
disintegrated right
in front of our eyes

what are we to do
with our misspent desires?

is there anything
to be salvaged
from our
broken egos
crushed desires
and
demolished hearts?

— glb

untitled 020619 a

I can’t seem to get out
of my own way,
a step forward falls victim
to double-talk,
triple belief that I will
make something of myself…

then I won’t

uncertainty pushes its
way through my mind
dragging doubt with it
fueling fear of failure

what’s the point
in even trying?

— glb

aimless

aimless
seeking guidance,
a way to break
this stasis

change for the sake of
well-being,
forward momentum,
movement in any
direction

yearning for
sparks of intuition
my path to the stars

— glb