where is it?

where is it?
this ideal
that we talked about
that we swore upon
that we struggled to uphold

it is a broken dream
that only rattles around
hurting our souls

it got caught in
some memories
and choked on
expectations

fantasies of that
pure, bygone love
disintegrated right
in front of our eyes

what are we to do
with our misspent desires?

is there anything
to be salvaged
from our
broken egos
crushed desires
and
demolished hearts?

— glb

17 Years

It has been 17 years
My God
I remember the anguish
It is still in my bones
During the last weeks
I came in off visiting hours
So we could have
Quiet time without interruption
I cherish those times
Lightly holding your hand
Gazing into your eyes
They would close when you took
  Your mini-naps
I recall how angry I was
  When you to told me your decision
You were a fighter for so long
How could you just give up…
But it wasn’t for me to understand
It was for me to accept
It is for me to tell people about you
  About the woman you were
  About how amazing you were
  About how brave you were
  About how you cared for me up to the end
Time goes by
I am always grateful that you
Were in my life
— GLB

Something Missing

It has taken a lifetime from me
No end to tears when I discover
Something missing
With no way to bring it back

Afraid of how it will progress
I search for a way
To keep the memories I have
Hidden from the horrible monster

I have no way of knowing
What will get gobbled up next
Something old
Something new

All eventually passing into oblivion
The time between now and
Eventually is the only promise I can accept
What I have for now brings solace

— GLB

Survive?

When the copper stops buzzing in your brain
And the sweat pours down your neck
I will be there to hold you when the spasm begins

The application of pain is the antidote
70 times now…
It’s hard to tell where the victory lies
The strange attractors have done their damage

Tolerance raises the bar for the next
A number drawn at a random tells you how long,
How deep you’ll have to reach to survive

Down deep enveloped in gloom
Cast by the only bulb in the cavernous hall
You prepare to put on your show,
Daring to expose all in attendance
As patrons of the darkest art of all

You mime kindness
Whisper intimacy
Talk of hope
Shriek out love

The cacophony deafens
Voices drawn tight
Refusing to admit
That the one thing they have in common…
(Humanity)
Is the hardest thing
To achieve

— GLB

promises

promises pop on the wire
pouring their essence on the ground
saying things louder by their demise
than could ever have been
said on the page

say them, speak them,
warm them on your tongue
make them ready to see life

promises pop at first blush
holding themselves in the kiss,
which slowly slides apart,
releasing their essence into the air

grab them, swing for them
give every last effort
to snatch them from the air
and hold them to your heart

try, always try, to hold them
to their truth

hold them
hold them
hold them…

until
they bleed
and destroy

— GLB