and i wait

i put myself into my own hands
i try to lift me up
above the miasma
and can only gather enough
strength to drag myself
through the stench

all the words say
“the only way out is through”
so i bear the rubbish and rust,
ask when it’s going to be my turn,
and count on the constant answer,
“you’re next, just hold on”
and i wait, i wait, wiat, wait
next never comes

i persevere
in love with my odds…

every single person that never tried,
didn’t succeed,
that one isn’t me
“am i next? is it going to be me?”
“yes son, you’re next, just hold on”

and i wait, i wait, wait, w-a-i-t

–glb

untitled 020619 a

I can’t seem to get out
of my own way,
a step forward falls victim
to double-talk,
triple belief that I will
make something of myself…

then I won’t

uncertainty pushes its
way through my mind
dragging doubt with it
fueling fear of failure

what’s the point
in even trying?

— glb

The Same Way

It’s the same way
Most of the time
Then I’m not
And I can’t find
The spots to make it
The same way again

Constancy keeps me
Centered,
In the moment,
Ready
Then it doesn’t

When it happens
Everything I touch
Is in question
Right or wrong
Caring or indifferent
This is the way
My cookie crumbles

Time
Time and solitude
May be the only antidote

— GLB

Something Missing

It has taken a lifetime from me
No end to tears when I discover
Something missing
With no way to bring it back

Afraid of how it will progress
I search for a way
To keep the memories I have
Hidden from the horrible monster

I have no way of knowing
What will get gobbled up next
Something old
Something new

All eventually passing into oblivion
The time between now and
Eventually is the only promise I can accept
What I have for now brings solace

— GLB

Survive?

When the copper stops buzzing in your brain
And the sweat pours down your neck
I will be there to hold you when the spasm begins

The application of pain is the antidote
70 times now…
It’s hard to tell where the victory lies
The strange attractors have done their damage

Tolerance raises the bar for the next
A number drawn at a random tells you how long,
How deep you’ll have to reach to survive

Down deep enveloped in gloom
Cast by the only bulb in the cavernous hall
You prepare to put on your show,
Daring to expose all in attendance
As patrons of the darkest art of all

You mime kindness
Whisper intimacy
Talk of hope
Shriek out love

The cacophony deafens
Voices drawn tight
Refusing to admit
That the one thing they have in common…
(Humanity)
Is the hardest thing
To achieve

— GLB

I Weep

I weep
when I get the chance
when it is proper
when it is true

I weep
when I need you
when you aren’t here
when I picture your smile

I weep
at the drop of a hat
when it doesn’t seem warranted
when I am happy

I weep
when I experience vicariously
when I am wrong
when I am right

I weep
because I am human
because I feel
for the sake of weeping

I weep
because I know the ending
because I am in pain
because there is no antidote

I weep
at personal triumphs
at goodbyes
at the first sign of kismet

I weep
when I am trapped
when I don’t understand
when I see the forest

I weep
when I’m on the right track
when I am frustrated
when I can’t keep my eye on the ball

I weep
when I examine my life
when I feel broken
when I can’t see the next step

I weep
on St. Patrick’s Day
when I have let you down
because I miss you

I weep
Because I am at home
Because you are too
Because 3172 miles

I weep
When I open a box of your things
When they still smell like you
Because I can’t put you away

I weep
Because that song is stuck in my head
Because I don’t want it to stop
Because it stopped

— GLB