i am not broken

i am not broken…
but i was
and…
i was for a long time
and…
i grieve for all that time
wasted…
in pursuit of nothing
and
everything i was not prepared for,
everything i was not capable of achieving,
instead of fixing myself
i lied to myself
insisting i was whole…

it took a catastrophic event,
which i still don’t understand,
to bring fundamental change
to bring a healing wave,
where i found new things,
true things,
ways of being…

i am not broken…
but i was
and…
because
i have found a new way of living
i have found a new way of relating to the world
i have refused to go back there

glb /// “i am not broken”
originally published 03/16/2018

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