lightning peels back
my already shattered sky
I am still jolted
not ready for the crack
although I see it break
I tried to embrace it
become one with
if it would not become
one with me

out in the middle
of a field turning
around and around
making myself the
tallest thing for miles
making myself as
much of a target
as I can hope to be

I anticipate the blast
I am braced for the shock
of heartache, of melancholy,
of grief at your inability to
love me enough that I
must go diving into
driving thunderheads
just to find what I imagine
what my own life is
supposed to feel like