I’ve spent my day trying to find a song that adequately describes the days I’ve been having. I have a lot of music and I’ve gone through Pop, Funk, Punk, Rock, Country, Metal, Reggae, Classical, Trance, Chill-Out, GOA, House, there are even more choices but that list could go on for a while. I have the time but I wouldn’t want to bore anyone. I guess my point is that I’m not coming up with anything and that is an oddity because I always have at least one song clattering around inside my head. As scattered as my mind has been over the past week, it’s no wonder I can’t get anything to stick. Still, I feel the need to have some type of soundtrack going to accompany me on my journey.
I just had a pretty concrete thought. For the past couple of years I haven’t been very good with uncertainty. I like to know what’s happening and I like to have things I can count on. My life doesn’t necessarily need to be routine, but I need to know that if something goes wrong I’ll be able to work the contingency plan I have in place. Here’s the thought, my psych-doc is going on travel for the next five weeks and he’s a big part of my plan. Now, I’m to the point that I only see him every three months so five weeks isn’t a big deal as far as routine treatment is concerned. The problem is what happens if I should have a problem. As much as I would like to avoid ECT, I have shown that I respond well to it. It has pulled me out of psychotic episodes twice. My doc is the only one for at least 120 miles that performs ECT treatments.
So, what I need to do is just live as I have learned to live; take my medications, see my therapist, go to the NAMI Peer Support Meetings. And remember to breathe…
Don’t force it, the song will come when it’s time.
Yes, it will come. And you didn’t mention WordPress as part of your routine! Or your interactions with us, your readers! 😉
That’s true, I didn’t, though I don’t know why… this blog and and my interactions with the people that read and the people I read are a VERY important part of my routine. I have been doing so much better since I started this blog that it is practically a prescription from my psych-doc to keep doing it. Thank you for reminding me of that DB.
No probs! It’s very important to me, too. Come to think of it, I left it off my own list this morning … *duh*