Ways I see myself:
1. I’m a guy with Bipolar Disorder II. I’m fairly run-of-the-mill, I have downs more than ups. I have several hypo-manic episodes a year, but those are usually pretty mild. I’m just doing what I need to do to get by. I get enough sleep, I take my medications, I go to a NAMI Peer Support group every week, I see my therapist every other week and my psychiatrist every 3 months. I write a blog where I publish poetry and articles about Bipolar Disorder and Mental Health from my point of view. I guess you could say that I’m on maintenance.
2. I’m a guy who lives in the past. It’s been two and a half years since I had a psychotic episode. It’s been one and a half years since my last ECT treatment. I am trying to piece together my life between 2005 and 2009 because it is largely a blur to me. I would like to know what caused my big psychotic break. I have a suspicion that a large part of my life between 2007 and 2009 was lived in a manic state. Most of my writing is about things that happened in the past.
3. Again, I’m a guy with Bipolar Disorder II. That in itself makes life harder for me to live than other people. I fear the stigma that goes along with it, enough to keep me from doing much besides going to my doctor appointments, seeing my therapist, writing a blog, dinner, movies, shopping, all things that either center around Bipolar or don’t have anything to do with Bipolar. I shy away from social situations. Because of the ECT and some of the medication, I don’t always speak well, I have problems finishing sentences, I have tremor in my hands and legs. I feel I am awkward both physically and mentally. I am unsure about my future life.
I do know this: Post 800